I was just visiting with one of my employees. I found that we had some very similar stories about our perception of our childhood, our relationship with our parents and the relationship that we want with our children. Both of us lost a lot when we lost our parents including a relationship with our siblings. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, that mistakes are only bad if you don't learn from them, that possessions are just 'things' and that the important part of your life is the relationships that you have with people. I kid with my children about having a 'dead' letter, one that tells my wishes for my possessions, how I want to be buried, pall bears etc. I always thought that if my folks would have written down their wishes vs telling (me) their wishes that I might still have a relationship, a good relationship with my sisters. So my cure for my kids is - the 'dead' letter. I have few possession that really have much value, more sentimental thanmonetary for sure, so when I am gone I hope that some of those things stay in the family and the kiddos don't fight over it, but again they are just things - HOWEVER what I do want for my kids is to have a good relationship with their mom, like I had with my parents. Amazing, even though I can't touch it, sale it, see it, I know I HAD it, a good relationship with my parents. I shared my love of gardening, crafting, watching my children grow with my mom. I shared my love of animals, riding horses, mannerisms, looks, with my dad. So the possessions I got when my parents left me were things you can't see, touch, sale just FEEL. I loved them, loved being with them, loved visiting them, just loved, loved, loved them. That's the wish I have for myself and my children.